Mostly because I know Jenn loves this stuff, here's a series of photos taken in Pripyat. This town on the outskirts of Chernobyl was evacuated in two days in 1986 when the fire broke out at the power plant. It's safe to visit now, but the town is still abandoned.

Take a look.

I've learned an important lesson about my notebook PC; Beth. The fans move so much hot air out to the left side that I can set my tea mug there and it will stay warm much longer. Likewise, I have to put any soda can on the right side if I want to avoid heating it up.

My office laid off 33 people yesterday and we've been told that until the end of the fiscal year we should expect further cutbacks and consolidation. In fact, the organization wants to cut spending by 50%. I guess I'm lucky to still be here, what with my lack of marketable skills. Today the entire building is a funeral parlor and I seem to be the loud-mouthed idiot who doesn't know how to behave.

I keep trying to discuss things in a "business as usual" tone and bring up plans for future projects, mostly about doing things like replacing costly business trips with web seminars and other things that I think are good for us keeping our jobs, and then I'm told I really shouldn't think about the future with so much uncertainty in the organization. So I'm the optimistic one.

Me? C'mon.

Maybe I'm too much a sociopath to feel the zeitgeist of the office. I mean, I caught myself not whispering while a guy cleaned out his cube on the other side of the dividing wall and that's a major faux pas today. So, I'm caught between being disrespectful to the "dead" by trying to think about the future, or looking unproductive by sitting around waiting for other people to want to work again. Scylla and Carbides.

Either way, I really want a double bourbon.

I haven't posted about a video game in a while, so why pretend I've actually been productive?

I could say that Resident Evil 4 is my all-time favorite game. It's the only game I've played through more than five times, and I unlocked the crazy upgrades, playing through with an infinite supply of tommy-gun ammo, dressed in a black pin-stripe suit and billowing silk scarf. Dead Space is the next logical extension of that trend. Staying in the same genre with similar interface and gameplay, but taking the action into the bleak world of deep space mining.

So here's the question. When does this game get difficult? I played Normal difficulty to start and equipped a high armor suit I downloaded because I expected to get thrashed and wanted to at least see the end of the story. By the end of the game, I had upgraded all my gear and I was still swimming in credits. I had abandoned all but two of the guns, the flying buzz saw launcher and the laser cannon, and when I finished the game and got a reward of extra credits and so on for my second play through, it was such an embarrassment of riches that I couldn't make myself do it and started a fresh game on Hard mode instead.

I decided I would not use my powered up armor suit and buy upgrades through the game like a common peasant. I saw there's an achievement for completing the game with only the plasma cutter side arm, so I decided to see how far I could get before I'd break down and buy a force gun, or return to my old friend, the ripper.

At level 7 out of 12, I'm still fine. Sure, I get ganked occasionally, but I know enough to retreat from mobs and that the best firing order is still 2 shots at the lead leg and then one at the lead claw arm to level most bipedal creatures. Some of the frights still make me jump and my heart rate climbs when one of them uses the ventilation ducts to get behind me but none of the other guns are really that appealing and I've got enough cash to buy an armor upgrade when it becomes available.

Maybe I'll change my tune when I get to the destroyer and the speedy ones start to gang up on me. I haven't upgraded my "not so fast buck-o" stasis module yet, but since I know they're coming up, I probably will by that time.

So, is it my mad skillz0rz from hours of RE4, or just a lack of game balance that make Dead Space less Deadly? I suppose we'll see what Impossible mode has to offer.

In other news, I've begun naming computers around my office. I think it started with my new laptop, since it was bigger than I expected I called it a behemoth the first week. That was shortened to Beth. Now I'm naming the servers I prep Ida, Thelma, Helen, etc. Perhaps I hope they will treat me better if I can call them by name.

It's done and I feel sick. I will feel this way the entire day. Yes, I know that even Karl Rove is calling it for Obama but The Fear has gripped me that all the pollsters were lying the whole time. As usual, my thoughts turn to time machines as the only certain way to quell anxiety.

So. Suicide pact, anyone?

Fallout 3 rocks. I feel like I could spend a long time playing this game.

I've noticed a pattern in my Fallout playstyle. When I start the game I always plan to try being the bad guy. Steal whenever I can, don't answer questions of the NPCs, take some opportunities to rack up bad karma by doing a few deeds for the devious denizens. That never happens.

I already knew about an early quest in which you can wipe out a settlement in a matter of seconds. It's a nasty thing to do, but I thought it would be interesting to try it. But then I went to the town. Maybe it was my high charisma stat, but people were generally nice to me. They told me about their lives before settling down. I met the Sheriff's son. Joel Creel told me about his adopted daughter. In no time I was doing errands for the people and when the sinister businessman shows up to invite me to destroy the place, I sicced the Sheriff on him and then blasted him. After he had killed the Sheriff unfortunately.

Then I went to the Sheriff's house and spoke to his son. There's this weird feeling of regret, that I should have been faster on the draw, or that I shouldn't have involved the Sheriff and taken out the bastard on my own. It probably doesn't help that the kid looks like one of the other kids I grew up with in the vault. One of the ones who didn't punch me when I wouldn't give him my birthday present.

It's always this way when I play an RPG. Even tabletop. My bad-ass jerks turn into supportive people who are eager to help and smooth over troubles among the PCs and NPCs. In subtle ways if not openly. Playing a Lasombra vampire with the intent of making him a pirate eventually resulted in me becoming a mediator between two other characters who bickered constantly and being spokesperson for the group as a voice of courtesy and respect.

Perhaps my personal morality isn't something I want to escape from when I'm playing an escapist game. Games without choices never get at me like this, but when there are consequences, I want to play like I would act in real life.

It's sobering in a way. I find myself actively fanning the flames of my misanthropy, especially in an election year, but when it's time to act on something, I'm back to being pleasant and helpful, even if I do it begrudgingly.

Anyway, my brother Steve wants to play his character in the manner of Ken from Fist of the North Star, so I'm trying to work up a build of stats, tags and perks for him. I wish him luck in focusing on melee and hand-to-hand combat against rabid bears and slavers armed with shotguns, but Fallout was supposedly made to be played however you want, provided you play with determination.

PS_ Another side effect is that I want to GM Tribe 8 again. For serious this time!

You didn't need to hear how great it is from me, but for those of you keeping score . . .

As of last night, I've seen The Dark Knight 3 times.

Also, as a sort of apology to everyone, I got caught up in some great end-convention conversations and forum threads but then I found out how hard it is to steal wi-fi on the shore. I'll catch up soon.

Was me clicking the "pre-order" button for this game hard enough to crush the desk under the mangled remains of my mouse.


Please note that the robot seems confused about what to do with the power tool attachment. Also Father's face while the Vault Tec rep. is discussing the future with Daughter.

Since the first Fallout game, I've found their incongruity of Mad Max post-apocalyptic bleakness with 50's kitsch and pop culture well worth the price of admission. I'm already asking myself the heavy questions:

Do I want to play like my first run at game 1? Go all out with Mad Max leathers and shoulder armor, trade in any gun that doesn't look like Decker's Blade Runner pistol, reload any save that keeps my dog alive? Or is it time to go Brotherhood of Steel? Powered armor, miniguns, paranoid racist propaganda, wholesale slaughter. Maybe I'll just headshot some Brothers and take their stuff . . .

Good thing I broke down and bought that 360.

Like the Jersey shore.

Jenn has the photos.

This was a fun mini-vacation before I take the full week off end of this month. We met many, many more cool people and got to enjoy the ability to walk a block to the ocean and drive a few blocks to the boardwalk. It was a great time and Jenn and I were very happy to be invited by Manning and Ben.

I'd only been to Wildwood once before, years ago. I remember my girlfriend at the time thought the entire place was disgraceful. While talking with Manning, I told him that I thought of Wildwood as a less trashy Seaside Park. He seemed surprised such a thing could exist. I'll take some photos when I'm there in a few weeks, and we'll do some compare and contrast. Both offer grease-sweating pizza, crappy rides and plenty of refreshing ocean breeze.

If I get some more time to walk on the beach in the dark, before being chased off by cops, then it'll be a lovely time.

Did you see Wanted yet?

Why not?

Every film I see directed by Timur Bekmambetov makes me think "Fcuk The Matrix. Here's a crazy CGI action flick with characters you can actually CARE about!"

Piece of very short fiction that has been pestering me to be written. The narrator and his opinions about religions and states is not me. But I like the idea of someone who thinks this way.
___

I'm terrified of ghosts. Not in the usual way though. Not in the "blind revenge from beyond the grave, possess your cat, throw all your stuff around the living room" kind of way. I'm afraid that their existence is proof of an afterlife. If ghosts exist, then there's proof of a soul. Proof that you will go on throughout eternity in another state of being. And that's absolutely awful.

What do you think this afterlife would be? Sitting on clouds happily singing praises while you watch the great events of the universe spin by? HA! We're people. We will transplant the bullshit of our lives into whatever place we occupy. That's right. Eternal "keeping up with the Joneses." Eternal "My car needs to be bigger." Eternal record contracts, internet scams, underage factory workers, supermodel break-ups, reality TV, non-smoking bars, Californians!

You think divorce rates are bad now?

How can you get away from it? It's not like you can kill yourself to end it all, you're already dead! Do you think with all of eternity to spread out we won't saturate whatever world exists there? Do you think with all that time we won't find easier, more wasteful ways to do everything? "This New New New New York is boring. Let's abandon it and get started on New New Chicago." It's not like pollution is going to kill anyone anymore.

Somehow, I have to live forever. It may be the only way I'll ever get any peace and quiet! Once everyone else has moved on, I'll be happy here living by myself. Watching all of the crap we left behind melt away. Finally assured that no one is going to make fun of my haircut, ever again.
___

In other news it is too goddamn hot for me to enter my studio. I haven't written any music all week. I suppose that's for the best anyway because the tremendous fever to re-play Bioshock gripped me last month and I broke down and bought an XBox. *sigh* "Would You Kindly" forgive me this indulgence?

That was lots of fun.

The Aliens You Will Meet live show was gratifying. It was great to meet the people who are the fans of the show and who enjoy the music I've made for it. Thanks.

When Condemned 2 was released I struggled for weeks about the whole "can I afford another console" thing. I like the first game, played it on my PC but at a low resolution (even today, after like 3 upgrades I still can't crank up a game that was made for original XBOX?) After reading some middlin' reviews I calmed down and decided that the then looming recession would eat up any money that could be spent on an overpriced game box.

Today I saw this advertisement:


Now, inexplicably I'm back to wondering if I can maintain my standard of living, without my teaching pay for the summer, and still afford that PS3.

Until I decide No More Heroes' bitter level difficulty is worth beating, I intend to play the holy hell out of Boom Blox.



I have no idea how Steven Spielberg is attached to this project, and I don't care. I will gleefully recreate the hours I spent at age four, sitting on the living room floor with brightly colored wooden blocks building towering castles, ready for the kickin' over.

Also, get the new, free NIN album. You don't know what you're missing.

I've been incommunicado for much too long now, but now that the semester is over I've nixed two of my big weekly commitments. Now I can actually get things done instead of picking up projects just long enough to have to put them down and go teach people.

Of course, I still need to magically know a few pleasant songs by an America composer by the end of the month. I think the audience is going to be small anyway, so I won't be embarrassing myself in front of anyone important.

iz3d is a company that is now selling computer monitors that make use of polarized lenses and image filtering to create the 3-D effects of Captain EO on your desk top. (Francis Ford Copolla directed that? Motherfu-)

The advertisements invite you to "imagine your hero in the 3rd dimension" or "your spacecraft" or whatever. Eventually I saw this one pop up.





Maybe it's just the choice of image, but c'mon guys. Is that what you really meant to say? 'Cause this is what I heard:

Hey, guess who's going to Miami next week!

Guess who's going there to fix servers that the staff of the Florida unit are too twitchy to fix!

Guess who really hates sunshine!

Guess which state is "the Sunshine State!"

Guess who's really not looking forward to being surrounded by spring break-ing college kids!

Guess who would rather have spent the free evenings in his studio actually writing some fcuking music for a change!

Can you guess who it is?

Huh?

Nothing else quite like the job search roller coaster. I spent the whole day in gleeful anticipation of an HR call that turned out to be a polite explanation of why I'm not suited for the position, or any position, at their company.

So. Fcuk. Back to careerbuilder.com and the rewriting of my resume every week.

I was seriously wondering if I should even be trying to get out of my current job earlier this week. I'm making enough money to survive, though not really to thrive, but hey, with a recession looming that's probably enough. We get our bennies, a pretty generous vacation calendar, and I can slip in late in the morning and work a little late in the evening without being hassled. Enough projects wither on the vine that I've learned what to avoid even beginning to work on. The boss I loathed left last year and hasn't been replaced, so I report directly to one of the okay people in the building. Until I scream racial epithets at people in the halls I'm not likely to be fired. I suppose this is what other people really want from employment.

Meh.

In mood-related news, I'm so heavily into overhauling Contract Work that I don't know if I'm making good decisions or bad with the rules rewrite. Is it better to give the hitters their money up front, or does that encourage overly conservative play? Is it better to make them draw from a bank as a reward for each action, or does that allow for a single hitter to dominate? How about sharing resources? Can I split the difference?

I need to playtest each of these options to see what they mean, and that means effectively playtesting three different games, what with the rules being so varied.

Again with the meh.

To close this rambling and self indulgent post, who among my singerly friend types is interested in joining a choir based in Ewing? Rehearsals on Monday nights. Conducted by Chris Loeffler. Yes.

I'll post about that again when the lines are clear.

I expected to be disappointed. I was not. I was enthralled.

Minor quibble. Maybe a SPOILER for people who haven't paid attention to the trailer.

What is with the closing music? No slight against Mr. Giachinno, but this was an entirely new breed of monster movie. The 10 minutes of "Godzilla vs. The Martians: Steel Cage Match!" was out of place and upsetting to me. I'm sure it was what the director wanted, but it killed the closing mood for me. Maybe that's what it was meant to do. Lighten it up a bit. Well, he wrote the music well. It's just too bad it had to be there.